Depression is often marked by a feeling of hopelessness. People in this state of mind have come to the erroneous conclusion that their life circumstances are unchangeable. To make matters worse for some people, they have made efforts to change their circumstances for the better, but to no avail, and have subsequently given up.
For people in the predicament, after having experienced repeated bouts of failure, they truly believe that there is absolutely nothing that can ben done about their situation. Fortunately, they are wrong about this belief, for two reasons. The first being that change is a constant, and the second being that they didn’t invest enough time in become good at the change they wanted for themselves.
In truth these situations appear overwhelming to them because they have adopted an attitude of helplessness
Change and Investment
There is a popular joke regarding a man who struggled in his attempts to quit drinking. Once he was asked by a friend how his sobriety was going, and he stated that he had been sober for the past 24 hours. By accident he was doing the right thing, in taking things one day at a time, but it truth, he fully intended to resume his drinking later in the evening.
The point is that change is easy, you simply begin engaging in a preferred behavior you have seldom, if ever engaged in the past. However, that doesn’t mean you will be good at it, to the point where you begin receiving the desired results from the change you are practicing. This is the reason so many people give up, they start doing something new, in which they are novice at, and become discouraged when things aren’t going their way.
It’s like taking up golfing for the first time and becoming discouraged because you golfed a terrible score. Mastery must be achieved, before you can set realistic standards in anything you do.
So, there is hope, however in anything you are doing for which you have very little experience, it’s going to take some time before you can expect to drastically change your circumstances. Regardless of what external changes are taking place, it is important to adopt a patient mindset to create the effect you which to experience in your life.
So how does this help with depression? Well the depression itself is caused by feelings of hopelessness that comes from a belief that an undesirable situation will remain the same or get worse. Further, for those who do attempt to practice change, a lack of patience, will likely derail their progress as they will be too inexperienced to create the effects they desire at what they are doing. However, if one where to adopt an attitude of patience and subsequently humility, their sense of hopelessness becomes forgotten as they become hopeful for what the future holds for them if they continue to practice the change they are practicing. Subsequently, this also decreases the severity of their depression.
Ugo is a psychotherapist and life coach.