Emotional resilience is the ability to adapt to stressful situations.
In the context of anger management, emotional resilience is your ability to experience negative, anger-provoking feelings with an attitude of receptiveness. As opposed to indulging in an overreaction geared towards relieving feelings of discomfort.
An example would be a person feeling hurt by another person’s actions, and then quietly resolving to retaliate through passive-aggressive tactics.
Another example would be a person feeling hurt by disappointment and quietly resorting to a place a shame. These subtle types of reactivity often result in the person engaging in some form of behavior that results in detrimental consequences for themselves and sometimes others.
In previous posts, I have discussed one of the primary trigger points for anger is a set of irrational expectations in regards to other people. How they behave and how we are treated by them. If we are able to let go of these expectations, we can begin to build emotional resilience. We can take control of our reactions to things we cannot control (other people).
As our ability to do this grows, we become more flexible and tolerant towards situations not going our way. This does not mean that we will become a doormat and habitually take abuse, instead, it means we are resilient to stress caused by difficult situations. It also means we are better able to engage in problem-solving and look at the situation from a place of clarity.
The process of building emotional resiliency is easier said than done, but it is a rewarding process.