The Problem with Focusing on Fairness

We don’t live in a just world, neither do we live in a world devoid of chaos. Often times people who struggle with poor anger management also struggle with poor self accountability. They have become conditioned to relying on institutions and entities to dictate their lives and provide a system of fairness for them.

When we come to believe that any entity outside of ourselves can guarantee us any level of fairness and orderliness in the world, without realizing so, we have allowed ourselves to be subjugated. For those of us fortunate to live in communities where peace thrives, it is not because of any authority or entity, it’s because like minded people have come together to will it so.

Self accountability is about coming to recognize our own personal power. We are all social creatures and we are all vulnerable to varying degrees, with some of us being less vulnerable than others. Regardless, when we all leave this world it will be in the same state we came in., devoid of power. Subsequently, we are at the mercy of each other and this is an important lesson than I convey to my anger management clients. If we can come to recognize our personal power, regarding how our actions influence others, forgiveness and letting go of innate desires for retaliation would become easier.
People who struggle with holding themselves accountable, operate life with a flawed frame of reference. They focus mostly on entitlements they perceive others are afforded and fairness, instead of themselves. Once we recognize that we have the power to bring change in our lives, what remains is collaborating with others who are like minded.
So what are your thoughts on today’s post?
Ugo is a psychotherapist and owner of Road 2 Resolutions, a professional counseling and life coaching private practice located in Tucson AZ.

 

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2 thoughts on “The Problem with Focusing on Fairness

  1. I completely agree with you my man. We have more power than we realize, if only more people where to just open their eyes.

  2. I have finally realised (at 61) that life just isn’t “fair”. We’re all born with different levels of ability and endurance, we all meet different challenges to progress and bear different ideas of how we will overcome difficulties in order to reach our goals or dreams. The world doesn’t care, basically! Quite by chance some of us will succeed and others not, regardless of our personal qualities and own acts of fairness and equality. Somehow I am now starting to learn that I HAVE done a good job with what I was given and will have to just get down to enjoying my interests without worrying about making a contribution to the rest of the world. Some money might help with making me comfortable with my disabilities, but since money doesn’t grow on trees I need to just get on with living as best I can.

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